


life is such a fragile dance

by NinjaGirl1117



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27792262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaGirl1117/pseuds/NinjaGirl1117
Summary: Tony Stark thought the Accords would help the world he set on fire, and if he had to be the bad guy then so be it.But when Tony finds himself on his last legs, he starts to think that maybe he's the problem that needs to be fixed—permanently
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	life is such a fragile dance

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SUICIDE (please do not read this if these themes trigger you) 
> 
> I just started writing and this is where I ended up. Welp enjoy :)
> 
> Also, the title is inspired by the lyrics of Alec Benjamin's song Love Is A Fragile Dance.

Tony Stark was so tired.

Tired of ruining people’s lives. Tired of hurting and failing the people he loved. Tired of trying desperately to do the right thing, and epically failing nonetheless.

He was so done. His life was one disaster after the next, with innocent lives being lost over his mistakes. The Sokovia Accords was supposed to be his hail mary, an attempt of making amends, but nothing had changed. 

He was a mess. The worst part being: he knew it. His life was falling apart at the seams and he couldn’t bring himself to fix it.

Pepper had left him. It was a “break” but he knew she was finally realizing what an awful person he was. He knew once she knew the full extent of what a monster he was, she’d run as far as she could. He was so selfish to keep her around and allow her to genuinely believe he was a good man. He had left her on the roof that special night, Ivan Vanko almost blew her up because of him, and he couldn’t catch her when she fell during the Mandarin debacle. Pepper was the once in a lifetime kind of woman, who knew what she wanted and found a way to achieve her goals. She could definitely do better.

Rhodey had been by his side since his MIT adventures, constantly keeping Tony out of trouble. He was a great friend—Tony repaid him by paralyzing him from the waist down. One of the few times Rhodey really needed him, and he came up short. Rhodey would be well off without him. He probably only signed the Accords for Tony because he wanted to stand by his friend. Well, look where that got him. 

Happy would be safer. He didn’t ask to be roped into the superhero business. For his loyalty, his friendship, and his concern, Happy was nearly blown up by AIM. A think tank that had a bone to pick with SI, more specifically Tony. Happy deserved better, Tony at least owed that to him.

And then there was the kid. He was awed by Tony, he revered him like some God deserving of worship. When in reality, the kid shouldn’t admire him. His hands were drenched by an endless river of dark stained blood. The kid needed a mentor and it wasn’t him, not when he’d been failing miserably with Ironman. He’d leave the kid enough money that he’d be fine with that aunt of his. Peter had a good heart and he’d be fine. The late-night lab sessions showed the brilliance the kid had, that he would go on to do great things. He didn’t need Tony to drag him down. 

A glass of whiskey found its way into his hand. The whiskey was the cheap brand, he didn’t deserve the expensive kind. The bottle of pills sat on the hardwood table awaiting him patiently, its contents amounting enough to take down a full-grown elephant. He wasn’t one to make mistakes. 

He really wholeheartedly thought he could be the bad guy, after all, his whole life he had done so exceptionally. Boy was he wrong. Steve had told him that they’d fight together. That he’d trust Tony when it came down to it. He'd thrown that out the window the instant he found his best friend was alive. It was okay though, he was used to being the second option. He was used to taking the hurt. He was used to putting on a facade, never showing his pain. Starks are made of iron. While Mom and Dad weren’t great parents, they still left a hole that he couldn’t fill with drugs or with absurd amounts of sex. Jarvis on the other hand was the one who sent him spiraling, that was when the map of jagged scars began on his wrists. He wore watches and extravagant bracelets. No one needed to know. 

The pill bottle was empty and for the first time in forever, his thoughts felt so open, so utterly free. The burdens that tied him down felt as if they had been lifted and he was floating. He titled his head towards the emerging sunrise illuminating the world, beautiful hues of red and orange. 

In the sunrise, he saw a new start at the end. He saw a rise at the end. He saw life at death. 

Tony let his heavy eyelids flutter shut, his breaths became shallow an everlasting stream of life meeting its end. An end that he fully embraced, he was finally at peace—something he’d been searching for so long. 

At last, Tony Stark let himself rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos make me so happy! Even if they are short I love them all the same, they make my day!
> 
> Again if someone you know or you are going through this please find the help they/you deserve. It is okay to be not okay, but taking your life should never be an option. Do not hesitate to call this number: 1-800-273-8255.


End file.
